How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
