My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
