omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
