My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
