no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
