Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
