so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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