I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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