Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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