No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And then my night got REAL pukey
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
