1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
