My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
