weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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