i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
