Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize