It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
