You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
