She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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