I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
