Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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