Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
