She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
