he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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