Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
