im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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