In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
