ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
