i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
