please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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