Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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