Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
