what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
