He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
