I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
whose parrot is this?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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