im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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