This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
