There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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