Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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