Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
