Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
