OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
bring money and cleavage
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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