She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
