Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize