Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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