Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize