take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
