Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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