You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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