I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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