So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
too bad you live with your parents still
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize