Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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