i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
