I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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