Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
