did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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