How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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