Duck Duck Cougar?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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