You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
