You're a womanizer and a bitch.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
