I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize