hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize