Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
