I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We had sex on a dog bed..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize