my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
